Fighting Temptation (Bay State Series Book 1) Page 7

  “I'm so sorry. We don't have to talk about it. I didn't mean to make you cry.” He reaches across the table to wipe away a stray tear. How sweet, I smile at him and sniffle a bit.

  “I'll be okay. You asked a question and I answered it. There's not much more to say so it's a moot point. What about you? What was it like to grow up in Boston?”

  “I didn't grow up here, I just came for college. I loved it so much that I decided to stay.”

  “Where are you from then? Around here?” I can get so lost in him. I don't know if that's a good thing or not. I guess time will tell.

  “It's about four hours away in Bangor, Maine. My parents are still there. My mom was a house wife, working odd part time jobs when I finally went to school. My dad's a retired fisherman. I don't see them as much as I'd like to though. My dad just had a minor heart attack not that long ago.”

  “Oh my God! Is he is okay?”

  “Yeah, it wasn't anything too serious. The doctors told him to get plenty of rest and to watch what he eats.”

  “It must be hard being so far away while he's sick. I don't think I could leave my mom's side if she was.” He gives me a questioning look as if I think poorly of him because he's here and not with them. “I understand you have a business to run and it would be my choice to stay with her. She would insist that I didn't but I would anyway. I don't think any less of you.” I give him a gentle smile as I take his hand in both of mine.

  “Thanks, I guess?” He voices it like a question as I sit just looking at him and rubbing the top of his hand with my thumb, waiting for him to continue. “I went to the hospital as soon as my mom called me. Took me a while to get there, and when I did he was sleeping. I got a hotel room and drove home in the morning. I went to see him the next day. We talked for a while about what the doctors had to say. He was so sleepy. He ended up falling asleep in his recliner mid conversation.”

  “I miss my mother. Although she's quite a bit further than four hours away. I told her I would try and get a plane ticket to see her for the holidays. Hopefully my tyrant of a boss will let me take some time off.” The look he gives me makes me giggle.

  He grabs my hand and yanks me up over the table until our faces were only inches apart. “Tyrant huh? Hmm? I'll have to come up with a punishment for that remark.”

  That stopped my giggling real quick. I'd love to see how he'd punish me. I really hope the color in my cheeks isn't giving my desire for him away. “You don't scare me, bring it on!”

  “I intend to. Don't you worry.” He says as he releases me so I can slide back down into my seat.

  “I'm definitely not worried, I'm looking forward to it.” Ha! Take that, I thought as he chokes on his drink. That just sends me into another round of giggles.

  “Come on. We should get back to the office. Don't want to be late for our meeting.”

  The entire way back I think about all of the delicious ways I wouldn't mind him torturing me.

  Road block

  “So are you guys going out at all this weekend?” I ask, trying to see if I can get an invite. We've been getting along great all week, eating lunch together every day and talking constantly in between business. If anything I can say we've certainly become friends. True I want more, but I'm not pushing it. And dammit, if I'm reading her right, she wants more too. No sense in rushing it. Like my mom said, if it's meant to happen it will.

  “Yeah, you should come with us. We're going to Rain again.” That smile, damn I don't think I could breathe without my daily dose. I don't get it on the weekends as it is. I'm gonna do whatever the fuck I have to to change that.

  “You know what?” I let the words hang in the air for a minute to watch her face turn from a beautiful smile to a frown. Good to know that she enjoys my company as much as I do hers. “I would love to come out with you now that, how shall I say? It's not so tense between us.” Her smile lights up the room as she rushes to give me a hug.

  “Awesome, we're going tomorrow night. There's this guy that's been there a couple times on Fridays and he creeps me out. I'm hoping he's not there on Saturdays.” Interesting, the shithead better hope he doesn't try anything while I'm there. I'll break his fucking face.

  “I'm definitely coming with you every time you go out now. If anyone bothers you let me know and I'll take care of it.” Bet her ass I will.

  “You don't have to do that. I want you to enjoy yourself, not babysit me.” Hands on her hips, she shakes her head at me with pursed lips and continues, “Anyway I doubt anyone would even bother me with you around, so I wouldn't worry about it.”

  “What? You want to act like a couple or something?” I don't know if that would be such a great idea, it might turn into more than she's ready for. I already want her, pretending I'm with her will make it even harder to contain myself.

  “If you wouldn't mind, it'll be so much easier to fend off unwanted attention if anyone that would otherwise approach me thinks I'm with someone.” She bites her lip and it's so damn cute.

  “Why don't you want attention? Your young, beautiful and single. Don't you want to find someone and settle down? You know white picket fence, kids, dog, mini van with your little stick figure family on the back window and all that shit.” She looks at me with a grimace like the idea disgusts her.

  “Ah, no. I thought I did once before and had my heart shattered into a million pieces. I'm all set on getting my hopes and dreams crushed again. I don't think I could take going through that again.” She looks so sad, I wish I could wipe that frown off of her face permanently.

  Maybe in time I will. I just have to take it slow so I don't scare her away. “You don't think there's that one person out there that might change your mind?” Not too long ago I felt the same way about the whole relationship thing. Lately though I think I could spend the rest of my life with this girl. If I can't stand to be away from her now, I can only imagine how it will be once I've started not only seeing her at work but socially too. Yeah, not sure how slow I can be. I want her plain and simple and I will have her. It all depends on her. Hopefully she doesn't make me wait too long. I'm almost positive she feels something for me, she's just scared.

  She looks at me like I've suddenly sprouted a second head. “I don't know, like I said I don't want to even take that chance. Better to not open myself up for it. I'm perfectly content with the way my life is.”

  *****

  “Dance with me!” She yells excitedly to me over the music. It's a slow song. I groan and give her a slight frown. I don't want to seem eager. Her body pressed against mine. Hell yes. I'll have some of that.

  “Please? This is one of my favorite songs, I love it!” She's smiling and batting those sexy ass eyelashes at me. What the hell, let the fun begin.

  “Just one, I really don't like to dance.”

  “Yay!!” She squeals and jumps up, grabs my hand and drags me to the dance floor.

  “What's this song? Can't say I listen to country, but this isn't too bad.” I have my hands on her waste, while her arms are around my neck. I'm trying to let her set the distance. So far she makes no move to get closer.

  She looks up into my eyes, “It's Hey pretty girl, by Kip Moore. I have to say if I had to pick a wedding song this would be it. Not that I will ever need to. But yeah, I love this song.” She shrugs it off like it's no big deal. I can see it hurts and I'd like to meet the mother fucker face to face who did this and let her watch as I beat his ass.

  “I like it. I never thought I would say I liked country music. Just don't tell my friends okay?” Glad to have put a smile on her face and make her laugh, I move a little closer just to test the waters, not being able stand the distance anymore.

  “Don't worry, your secret is safe with me,” She winks and closes the gap by placing her head on my chest, “thank you,” she adds, suddenly sounding upset.

  “What are you thanking me for?” This woman confuses me. One minute she's happy the next she's sad. Maybe it's all the alcohol she's had. Granted I don't thin
k three mixed drinks would make her act like this. “Have you had too much to drink?” I ask on a laugh.

  She lifts her face to me and she has tears in her eyes. She sniffles as she answers me. “No it's not the alcohol. Your being so nice to me is all. I'm not used to it outside a few people. Sorry I'm being emotional. We can go if you want, I don't want to ruin your night.”

  “Impossible, I just don't want you to be sad. You're a good person and don't deserve to be treated badly. I would treat you like a princess if I could.” She just lays her head back on my chest as we sway to the rest of the song.

  I don't think I could handle another song and thank fuck she steps away and heads back to the table once it's done. When we get back to our seats John and Rachel are MIA. They're probably at the bar or on the dance floor.

  No one's approached Ilyanna tonight. Sure I've seen some guys checking her out. But who wouldn't? She's hot, can't say I blame them. “Let's head over to the bar, I need another beer,” I say as I tilt my head towards the back of the club.

  She waves me away. “I'm good, I'm tired, I'll just sit here and wait.” Fuck! What's got her so upset? I don't think I said anything that would've upset her. I'll just ask her again when I get back to the table. Pretty sure there's more to it than she's letting on.

  Half way to the bar I feel arms around my waist. I turn around, about to ask her if she changed her mind. Oh! What the fucking hell? The stripper, what's her name again? Shit. I can't remember. Leaning in and hanging onto my arm she smiles and starts talking. I try to block her out and look for Ilyanna. Damn. She's not at the table anymore.

  “Hey handsome, it's nice to see you outside of the club. You wanna come home with me and I'll give you another private dance? Maybe this time you can get naked too.”

  I'm about to tell her she's drunk and no thank you, when I see Ilyanna. She'd changed her mind and was heading over to me. She must have caught the end of what the other girl had said because she just shook her head and turned back in the other direction.

  “No thanks. I'm here with someone so if you'll excuse me.” I start to walk away and she grabs my arm.

  “It didn't look like you were together, together from where I was sitting” She gives me a shit eating grin and winks.

  “Not that it's any of your business but I would like to be together, together with her. So if you don't mind I need to go find her.”

  Is this chick serious? Can she not tell I'm not into her? Maybe if she doesn't take the hint this time I'll try setting her up with one of the guys. She seems a little needy to me. Brent likes needy bitches. He can have her.

  I can't find her anywhere so I go and find Rachel. “Can you go see if Ilyanna is in the bathroom? She saw someone talking to me and took off. I can't find her anywhere.”

  If looks could kill I'd be a dead man. “You we're talking to some other chick while you're here with her. Are you dense? You have got to know that girl wants you. You dumb ass.” And she storms off too.

  John's just shakes his head laughing while holding his gut with one hand and pointing at me with the other. “Guess she told you, huh?”

  “Shut the fuck up! What does she mean I have to know she wants me? She always says she doesn't want a relationship when I bring it up. I don't know shit. We've been getting along and yes I want her. But seriously I wasn't even talking to that pain in the ass from the strip club.”

  “Whoa! Did you just say it was the red head you told me about? Oh shit man, this sucks. I guess any chick that sees another talking to a guy she's interested in isn't gonna ask questions. They always just assume. You'll just have to tell her about it honestly, and don't leave anything out. Trust me if you do she'll find out somehow and it will come back and bite you in the ass later.”

  Just then Rachel's at my side. “She's not in the bathroom. I asked the bouncer and he said someone fitting her description left about five minutes ago.” She's out of breath. Obviously. She'd been running around the club frantically searching for her friend. “Let's just head out, she most likely went home. I'll talk to her.”

  Fuck....... Why did she have to be here tonight? Things were going good, although Ilyanna seemed a little sad. I planned on changing that. The whole way home I keep thinking about what I had to say to her. Honestly why should it matter to her if I was talking to someone else.

  Were not a couple.

  I need to remember to call my mom and get some insight on the female mind. In the meantime, I'm silently praying that my chance with Ilyanna didn't get fucked up because of one chick I don't even know, nor want to.

  Shit, this is beyond fucked!

  I waited an hour before calling John. He answers on the second ring, sounding exhausted.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey, is everything alright over there?” I can only imagine what he's had to listen to.

  “Yeah, they're in Ilyanna's room now. I had to listen to Rachel curse you the whole way home though. Like it's your fault she approached you. She told me if I thought it was okay that I could go find some stripper bitch too.”

  “I'm sorry, this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. Why do chicks do that? Turn shit around on us?” I've seen that so much with some of the guys I went to school with. And of course it was my fault Heather cheated on me. Bullshit!

  “I know, girls stick together and shit. I get it. She'll get over it and I'll enjoy the apology.” This makes me laugh for the first time in over an hour.

  “Lucky bastard. Well I'm gonna try to get some sleep. I feel really shitty so I'm sure I won't be able to. Talk to you tomorrow.”

  Still laughing. “Don't worry buddy, we're gonna try and sort this mess out. I'll call you tomorrow.”

  Looking out the floor to ceiling window in my bedroom, I stand thinking about the look on her face as she turned and fled. One word describes what I saw there.

  Hurt.

  Overreaction

  Stupid, stupid, stupid.

  How very stupid I am to think that I was wearing him down.

  Get naked this time? Has he slept with her before? Urgh, too many things running through my mind right now. Ex girlfriend? Booty call?

  As I'm having this internal freak out I run past the bouncer and out the door. The cool night air feels good against my flushed skin.

  Why am I so pissed?

  It's not like he's mine.

  He will never be mine.

  I should stop this charade, he's probably going to leave with her. Why wouldn't he? No strings attached. He doesn't have to see her everyday.

  I really need to shut my brain up.

  I make it to my car before I let the flood gates open. Why am I so emotional? How has he gotten under my skin so quickly?

  I do the only thing I can think of when I'm this upset. I grab my phone out of my clutch and as I dial my mother, I start the car and back out of my parking spot.

  As I'm pulling out of the parking lot she picks up. “Ilyanna? What time is it? Is everything okay?”

  Is everything okay? I have no idea.... I scream in my head. I wish she was here. It would make confiding in her so much easier.

  “I think I'm falling in love with my boss,” I sob into the phone. “I don't know what to do. I don't want things getting screwed up if we did have a relationship and things turn ugly. Where would I go from there momma? It's so complicated. I think he wants me too. I've tried to see if he'll make a move and so far nothing. What if he's not interested? God I'm such a mess.”

  “Where is all this coming from?” She asks when I finally give her a chance to speak. “I thought you weren't looking for another relationship. Not that I don't want you to be happy. Something must have happened for you to suddenly change your mind.”

  Has something changed? I never stopped to think about why all of a sudden I'm even entertaining the idea. “I don't know if anything's changed really. It's just that we get along really well. Better than any guy ever. Maybe that's it. I get along better with him than I ever did wit
h Jackson. But that doesn't mean I should act all jealous and possessive. I flipped out tonight when I saw another woman talking to him. I can't think of any other reason I would act like that. What should I do? I hate feeling like this!” The tears are finally starting to fade away the longer I talk.

  It's always had a calming affect on me, venting to her. I guess it's because she's the one person I know that won't judge me.

  “Well it sounds like you have some things to work out. You need to ask yourself if this is something you want to pursue. If it is then my advice to you is to keep your head on straight and don't get yourself too deep too fast. If your not sure on his feelings just keep doing what your doing. Sounds to me you've at least gained a friend out of this. I just want you to be happy, so whatever you decide to do I support you.” Just then my phone buzzes alerting me I have a new text.

  “Thanks, I knew talking to you would help. You always know the right things to say. I love you.”

  “I love you too, call me back anytime if you need me.”

  “Of course, have a good night.”

  “Bye baby girl.”

  “Bye momma.” I hang up and check my messages.

  I have two, both from Rachel.

  { Where are you? Are you ok? }

  And the other one.

  { Hello? Do I need to kick his ass? }

  The last one makes me smile, she is such a good friend. I don't bother to answer her back. I just got home, no doubt she's not far behind.

  As I storm through the house to my room I can't help but wonder what Braydon must be thinking about my disappearance. He's probably more than likely relieved that I left. Now he doesn't have to apologize for going home with someone else seeing as he showed up with me. I flop down on my bed and let the tears flow again.

  Not too long after, I hear a soft knock at my door. “Ily, can I come in?” She's seen me worse that's for sure.